Two Lives Choosing Life

Their teen pregnancies brought a sense of purpose and mission to two Siouxland pro-life women now serving with VoteYesForLife.com

By Kent Wigg, Living Stones News Writer

Choosing to parent

She was a 14-year old high school student in a small South Dakota town. She was smart, athletic, and looking to a bright future.

And then she was pregnant.

Barb Asleson, now current employee of VoteYesForLife.com and former staff member of the Alpha Center, understands well the concerns of young women with unintended pregnancies: the heartache of telling parents and friends and the difficulty of re-organizing a life shaken with circumstances never anticipated. Asleson now embraces the mission of convincing other scared and confused young mothers-to-be why they should treasure the miracle of life unfolding within them.

However, Asleson also believes that, when the ultimate decision has to be made involving aborting or carrying the new life to full term, there really is no decision at all.

“I knew even before pregnancy that abortion would never be an option,” she said. Adoption or parenting would be the only choices for her.

When Asleson became aware of her pregnancy and knew she needed help, she delayed informing her parents, fearing how she would tell them and what their reactions would be.

Recalling that she was not a rebellious child, Asleson said she turned inward at first, to sort things out, recalling, “I was very hard on myself.” Still knowing she needed help, she turned to a new source of strength and answers. “Mom and dad were very strong Christians but didn’t explain about having a relationship with the Lord,” she said. “I needed to ask Him into my life. “I sought forgiveness and read books from a Christian book store. I remember getting down on my knees by my bed, crying and asking forgiveness,” she said. Asleson prayed, “God, I shouldn’t have done this. Please forgive me, and come into my life.”

“I was still scared afterward, but I felt peace more than relief,” she said. “Relief came when I told my mom.” With the support of her parents, Asleson determined to continue with high school and activities, living at home and allowing her mother to assist after the baby was born. “Mom helped me but stood back when needed,” she said. “It was a good balance.”
She reflected back to the early days of caring for her newborn baby boy. “A lot of parenting came naturally,” she said. “I wanted to be a good parent. Mom taught me a lot.”
In addition, the baby’s father, Shon, wanted to remain a part of the baby’s life and would come over to Asleson’s house to be with their child and assist with his care.
“It was very much a team effort,” Asleson said.Asleson graduated from high school and attended Dakota State University, eventually earning a Bachelor of Arts degree in business management and marketing. She married Shon in her second year at college, and the two have continued to raise their young son, now 10 years old, and look forward to the birth of their second child early next year.
After having served in development for the Abstinence Clearinghouse and the Alpha Center, Asleson was asked last June to serve the new VoteYesForLife.com campaign as adviser for churches and pastors.
She summarized her new responsibilities, “I’m here to educate and equip them. I get to know pastors across the state and help with their game plan.”

As the referendum nears, Asleson indicated her greatest wish is that the people of South Dakota will learn how abortion hurts women.“My purpose is to give hope,” she said. “I tell people I know everything is going to be OK – we’re going to get through this.
We have a lot of choices, but we don’t have the choice to take life.”

Referred Law 6

On March 6, 2006, Governor Mike Rounds signed into law House Bill 1215, declaring a constitutional provision for a “material and unalienable right to life.” The procedure of aborting unborn babies – except to prevent the death of the mother – was declared illegal in South Dakota. In June, a petition by pro-choice advocates to put the new law to a vote on the November ballot was accepted, with “Referred Law 6” as the designated title for the issue. Since then, a pro-life organization promoted as “VoteYesForLife.com” has sought to educate voters on aspects of HB1215 to be considered in the November 7 vote. Barb Asleson and Molly Hanson are two representatives of this advocacy group promoting life and reasons to vote “yes” in November.



Choosing Adoption

When Molly Hanson first found she was pregnant, her initial thought was to consider abortion.“I need to undo this,” she thought, even though as a baby, Hanson had been adopted from a Bolivian mother who had chosen not to abort her.

The 19-year old was just starting her first year at Augustana College in Sioux Falls, and had other plans for her future. She called her friends, to ask what to do now.

Hanson recalled their advice not to abort the baby. A staff member at the clinic that provided the pregnancy test also tried to convince her not to abort and urged Hanson to talk to her parents.
Revealing her pregnancy to her mom and dad was her greatest fear. “I don’t smoke or anything,” Hanson said. “People were shocked that I was pregnant.”

“I considered abortion, because I didn’t want my parents to think they had failed. The next day, though, I changed my mind and talked to them. My family was overwhelmingly supportive. They really stood up for me, even while I was pregnant.”

Yet, not everyone was as supportive as her family, as some friends pulled away from her. “It’s hard, because you don’t want friends to find out.” she said. “My friends didn’t stick with me. It’s when you really realize who your friends are.”

Hanson decided to continue with the pregnancy, dealing with feelings of guilt by continuing with school and taking a lighter class load. She was determined to show her parents that the pregnancy had not ruined her life, and she made the Dean’s List both semesters. With the help of her family and counselors at Sioux Falls’ Catholic Family Services, Hanson approached a decision on whether or not to keep the baby that was now near full term or to place the child for adoption through this service.

“You don’t have to give up the baby – they prepare you either way,” she said.

Her final decision was to place the child for adoption, where a home with both mom and dad would be provided. A healthy baby boy named Jacob was born to Hanson this past March and was subsequently adopted by a couple in Brookings.

Since delivering her baby, Hanson has sought to convince other pregnant and scared teens to consider the option of life. Along with her work at VoteYesForLife.com, Hanson serves with the Augustana Life Alliance to help students to stand up for pro-life issues against what she sees as a highly vocal pro-choice advocacy group on campus.

Advising other women in situations such as what she has faced, Hanson said, “It’s OK to have feelings about the situation. A lot of girls think they’re alone, but that’s not the case. Just because a father isn’t in the picture, it should make you more determined. It’s scary, but your life doesn’t need to be over.”
Hanson’s hope, through her efforts in speaking to others is that, “Women would realize their lives can go on after the baby. There are so many families that want kids but can’t.
”Drawing the issue back to a personal level she added, “It’s not about me. It’s what’s best for Jacob.”
And, it’s what’s best for the Jacobs yet to come.

References:Alpha Center – (605) 361-3500, for pregnancy tests and counseling. This number also serves as a live 24-hour hotline.Catholic Family Services – (605) 988-3775 -- Counseling and adoption services, phone answered 24-hours with a live counselor or voicemail.VoteYesForLife.com -- (605) 271-3975